The Week before Chinese New Year.

I'm checking out Jipaban.com for my CNY attire and more!!

Haiya, if only I had used it for my Christmas online shopping as well...

心有一句感慨

I lost a friend



Somewhere along in the bitterness

Some say.

Some say, that the nonexistence/absence does not signify anything. Nor hint inconsequentiality. It is merely nothing, and nothing more.

True that. However, existence/presence is that which signifies something, gives meaning.


And the more glaring thing of all?
It must be one or the other, does it not?

=(

I just noticed while scrolling through my blog roll.

='(

What's your excuse.

We were talking over lunch in the office today

"Why do you jog? I don't see the point. Don't you feel bored doing it alone?"

- One colleague asked.

"No, you feel like dying. But that's how you feel alive later."

- One colleague answered.

"Because you know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

- The cliched answer that popped into my mind and did not reached my mouth.

Between the gasping for air, the aching thigh muscles, the pounding heart, and the rush of blood flowing through your veins to the head.


You can stop, conceding you're reached the limit. It's that choosing not to, that choice of the hardened, stubborn, foolish will, that makes the difference.
A little like life isn't it?
Don't Stop.



To quote Desmond saying to Jack from Lost.

"What's your excuse for running like the devil's chasing after you?"

Something (not so) dumb to do.

I think I wanna marry you?

Writing to Reach you.

This time last year... i was lying on a hospital bed, feeling rather miserable.. diagnosed with an abscess of unknown origin. Hah... which up to today still remains a mystery. The smart money's still on the complication from the appendisectomy 2 years prior, but having been 2 years, a long shot at best. Oh well.

A year on, just to reflect on the year that has been since the incident. I had a lot of time to myself in that hospital , lying there. Restless, feeling useless, not to mention helpless. Gosh, the sense of being a liability is something i totally despises. I wanted no one to see me in that state, or at least my ego insisted. Not exactly a near death encounter but... it changes you i guess, hard to imagine it not.

A year on, there are things i'm proud of, things i've managed to keep, things i've failed. Quarter life crisis looming i sense.

So many things are easier said than done. So much lip service. Talk is cheap and i am guilty. What a mess.


I just wish hope things were are....  reach-able  (:

 .......maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's a thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around in it, let it slide like coins through your fingers. So much time you an waste it.
But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know.
-Before I Fall Lauren Oliver.

Keep Believing

Sometimes things aren't the way you hoped they would be..
That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
It may not be easy, but take each step forward as a challenge.
Learn from your difficult times.
Grow in courage and in strength.
Keep believing in yourself.
Stay focus on all you want your life to be.
Challenges are part of life's journey that will only bring you closer to what you dream to be.



"In anything at all, perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

You know when you've found it.

It's been a while.
A little anxious.
A little uncertain.
A little too expectant.

Armed with hope.
Equipped with strength.
Guarded by goodness.

I will try.
I will feel.
I will believe.
I will live.



this world is burning and i'm terrified
i need a little more time with you.

Happiness is a really warm gun.

I think my fight or flight system is skewed towards flight.
But i like the idea of fighting, of winning. I'm a sore loser.
It's just that i don't know who i'm fighting with, or occasionally worse, what i'm fighting for.

I run.
I avoid.
I "siam".
Inadequacy, insecurity, in-consequentiality.


When things are crappy and unfulfilling in Singapore,
I run across the causeway.

When work is tiresome and frustrating,
I run to the private life.


Now, i've realized. I've run out of places to run.

Oh slippery slope indeed.