Chances Are.

You will never know all that you meant,

whilst i will never know all that i didn't.

Death and all of his friends.

People come and go from each other's lives from time to time. It's the piece of yourself that you leave behind, and what you take away that really matters, is it?

A teacher from Foon Yew passed away this week.. Facebook has been full of her stories and details about the wake. One teacher, out of what, about 150 odd teachers of the entire school. You would be inclined to wonder what exactly all the buzz is about.

A simple teacher, teaching geography, but the impact she has made in so many students lives goes beyond the classroom. Even myself, a science student whom only had the chance meeting of her once as a relief teacher once, reading the stories, i kid you not, it will bring a tear to you eye. Tales of her encouragement and belief in students, going the extra mile out of concern for a student's future, self-sacrificing instances despite fighting the illness that was with her, will seem surreal as though from a highly exaggerated tear-jerking hollywood soap drama.

The 700 strong congregation at her memorial, benefactors of her tireless care-giving, gathered from across the nation, is just testimony of the respect she has garnered from everyone she has ever taught. At 41, she lost the battle against cancer after 3 bouts, leaving behind husband and child. It's the age-old 'why do bad things happen to good people' argument. Sadness doesn't even cover it.



As always, death reminds the living to cherish that which always is taken for granted.


sidenote: Charmaine has relapsed.   :(

---

The final semester. Loads to be done. Tough few months ahead.

Till next time, a few good quotes:


"青春让我们天真地以为，承诺是永远的幸福，却没想到，爱情原是测试承诺的开始。" - <我想说我舍不得》


"She crossed my mind. Somehow, she never left..." - The Observer.

Scattered Black and White.

Plead the fleeting moment to remain.

Taking a picture, trying to freeze the elusive second from ticking by.

The odds are known, yet you need to try to fight the shifting sands.

Time, like waves crashing on a rock, wearing away at it,

albeit slowly, eerie politeness and formality fakes a scene.

When all is gone, you take everything in, lock it away.

An Offer You Can't Refuse?

Being offered a job before graduating should be something to happy about right?

Haha. Well, in truth, i was.. for a while. Then comes the dilemma, what are you going to do with the offer?

Then happiness mixes with trepidation forming an unstable concoction that is the perfect way to start the holidays! Till next time, i promise i'll be blogging proper content.

---

Given the same situation, had the roles been swap, i would never be able to do what she did. Maybe i'm nice, maybe it's common courtesy. But after all that's been?

Who would've know that something that started silly wrong but vivid right would end up this way. Not right, so not right. Can't catch a break even at the end. Lies.

Happiness is only real when shared.

Right.. So it's like 3am in the morning. I've slept like 4 hours since tuesday. Fell asleep at 1am earlier, only to find myself wide awake at 2am. Just an indication of how messed i am. And how that i'm up, starting to feel hungry.

---

Just a quite look back at my posts over the last months.. how come since redang.. let's be frank here, all seems to be carrying a tinge of depression one?! Hehe, I miss the happier times. What happened to them?

Looking back at a insanely hectic semester, with exams nearing. Here's some noteworthy highlights. :)


First and foremost, by a mile the most happening thing over the semester - MP4006: Robotics. Source of the bulk of my happiness, at the same time ever so time consuming. Definitely something i can look back with pride though.

Well we basically build a robot that can sense and climb vertically. Hehehe. Enjoy the video :p

---

But there are of course silver linings too - Growth through adversity. This has been by no means an easy semester, i'm sure it's the same for everyone, just have to work through it. I have seen friendships grow and am thankful for all the help from people around me [of course i'm not just talking about the 4 people in the photo la, you know who you are].

With the exams nearing, and life being what it is, it really is so disheartening to try and keep up the good fight. I so constantly need to remind myself why we fight.

Love the photo! Complete family too, with bro's family, sis' family + in laws. I'm carrying Aidan! Hehe. And with the cold november rain which has been pouring down since, well, november, i am looking forward to Christmas.




Everyday i wake up, in many ways, i feel like Dug from Up. Armed with my special mission, i embark through the day, scouring for positivity and special things. Yet at the end of the end, many a time, things just turn sour. It may seem foolish, but yes, i strive on each day, knowing full well, the pitfalls of disappointment which occur more often than not. Happiness is real only when shared.

**Woof woof** [wags tail ;) ]

In the recycle bin.

Erased.
To keep sane, i shall not ask why.






Can someone cue a re-run of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

500 Days of Summer

In all honestly, when i first saw the trailer for 500days of Summer, i really wanted to hide it away and keep it all to myself. i didn't want anyone else to know about the movie. But after watching the movie friday. I know that such a thing is not gonna happen.

What do i think about the movie then? Well, i won't tell you! :p Since saying it's the best movie i've ever seen will result in you having unrealistic expectations for it. Whereas saying it utter and total rubbish will make you not want to watch it. Heh.
One thing i will say is this (warning: spoilers ahead, only for those who have watched the movie. Click and drag between the arrows)
--> My favourite scene is the 'expectations vs reality' shot when Tom was walking up the stairs to Summer's party? Genius shot that one. Bloody brilliant. BLOODY. sigh.
Having said that, i'm definitely getting the original dvd for this. Let's hope it'll be out by christmas!! <-- I have the urge to watch the movie again 500 times. Seriously. Wait, maybe 501 times. Hmmm, due to reasons personal, with travaine. Nobody knows. Nobody has to. It's in the movie *smacks forehead*. And yes, true to my previous blog entry, i did get addicted to 'hero' but.. it is freaking crazy emo la.. cannot function if addiction to songs like this. Therefore, shift! Addict to this song now. Hee hee.

It was in the movie too.
Movie soundtrack available upon request. ;)


Alas, i guess this is it then.

On another unrelated note. To spring, I'd gladly take you away with me. ^^

Music of the Night.

I gave my life to a memory of music
And she just turned her head
Rocky Votolato - I Remember Music

For the longest time, i have found myself relating events of life with music. From pop songs, church hymms, latin choral, movie sound tracks and the lot. Songs of delight, happiness, sadness, disappointment and hope. Many a time, especially when i feel particularly strong emotions, a song will almost magically, spontaneously appear in my head. Verses of lyrics seems to uncannily voice the thoughts of the subconscious.

Currently fighting for airspace in my brain are: rootless tree, luv (from the album 'the man who!' :p), my very best, elephant. All bloody brilliant songs i assure you. Should you need new songs for that playlist. ;)

this has got to die
i said this has got to stop
this has got to lie down
with someone else on top
Damien Rice - Elephant

I am pretty sure that in less than 24hours, the song from this video will be the one stuck in my head. Having dying to watch the movie since watching the trailer 3 weeks ago, downloaded it but felt to not watch in the cinema is nothing short of a crime. Especially given the unique circumstances surrounding this movie which no one will ever know so essentially i'm talking gibberish. Hahaha.

In the corner of the room,
In the room we used to love,
Of the love this we should say this:
There were switches never flicked.
Long away and far apart,
That's how forest fires start.
Elbow - My Very Best

I'm the hero of the story
Don't need to be saved
Regina Spektor - Hero

The Valley.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.

---

I am deep in the valley, quite very messed up. And completely lost. Broken for no apparent reason. Oddity.

I don't want to be weak. Help.

Her Morning Elegance

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life
as she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
as it pours
And she fights for her life
as she goes in a store
with a thought she has caught
by a thread
she pays for the bread
and she goes
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

Hehe.. another youtube vid.. but i can't help myself.. there's something about this song!!! It's special. It just feels so so right.
;)